When people (like Judson) tell me, "I HATE DENTISTS", it makes me curious; there must be a good reason. What concerned me was why Judson used those three words….
I went to one of my favorite restaurants to grab a bite to eat night before last and watch the start of the Texas Rangers wooping up on the Yankees in game 4 of the ALCS. I sat up at the bar in front of the big screen and the waitress, Carey, speaks loud enough for the fellow next to me to hear, "Dr. Scott…one of your patients came in the other day".
The reason I told you that is because the conversations that occurred after that is the REAL reason for this post!
Judson, the gentleman sitting a few chairs to my left overheard Carey addressing me, leans over and asks, "what kind of doctor are you?" "A dentist" I said. And then those famous words came out of his mouth, "I hate dentists" ! I smiled, as I usually do, and I asked Judson WHY? He went on to confess that he's a "wimp" and the last 5 dentists that he'd been to just sloughed him off when he told them that he was "Scared to death" of dentists. He said the common response he received from those dentists was: "Oh….you'll be fine" or "Ahhh…this is easy"……..and I interrupted him so I could finish the sentence for him,… "and they didn't offer you anything to address the anxiety you expressed: no nitrous oxide gas or pills to sedate you for your expressed fear?" He said, "no, they didn't offer anything and that is what bothers me".
T h e n …no kidding, a perfect stranger, Alanna, sitting just a few more chairs over, obviously overhearing and interested in what we were talking about, chimes in: "yeah, the last guy I went to wouldn't stop drilling….and I had tears in my eyes!"
What does "scared to death" really mean?
It really means: "sitting in your chair right now doctor is about the last thing I want to be doing; I would almost rather get stuck in the eye with a stick! And it also means, please don't hurt me; I don't really know you, I don't really trust you ….YET; continuing… please take the time to UNDERSTAND ME, because I'm feeling very vulnerable right now and if you hurt me, like my childhood dentist did, I might cry"! Now, I'm exaggerating a bit, but maybe not too far off for some.
I went on to share with Judson that I've built dental practices on LISTENING to patients, making them FEEL UNDERSTOOD, and as my good friend Thom says, fulfilling and UNFULFILLED NEED! Finding commonalities in interests, family, hobbies, work, children, friends, beliefs, etc., is a powerful way to connect with people.
When patient's tell me "I'm scared to death" or "I'm really nervous", that's an indication for doing EVERYTHING in your power to make this person feel more comfortable! Slow down, get focused on reducing this person's anxiety and make sure they know you CARE! If the patient doesn't feel like you care, they are not going to return for more NON-CARING. Guaranteed !
A Tip For Caring
I'll divulge one of my biggest secrets……… when giving a shot; use topical anesthesia, warm the carpules of the anesthetic (that just happens to have cooled to 70 degrees-room temp.), inject slowly, and persuade the patient into relaxing their back, hands and legs in the chair (like laying on a towel on the beach).
Have you ever jumped into a pool where the water was 70 degrees? IT"S SHOCKINGLY COLD.
After I told Judson about my tip on giving shots and offering nitrous oxide, sedatives or anti-anxiety agents, he asked me for a business card and said to me; "It's not about the money, I'll gladly pay whatever it costs to be comfortable" !
H E L L O … anyone listening?
Please comment below or tell me what you've experienced.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I so totally relate to this story Dr. Scott. Sitting in the dentist's chair actually makes me SWEAT BULLETS, along with a whole bunch of other physical reactions. If I don't feel comfortable, and if the doctor isn't talking to me the whole time … letting me know exactly what he is doing … it is a fate worse than death for me. I always look for … and GLADLY PAY whatever they are charging … a dentist that works in a way that let's me know I am safe … and that I won't get hurt. GREAT advice for every dentist out there !! When ARE you moving to New York City …???
hmmm….Rose, you just gave me a great idea! I’ve got next Wednesday open…
Hey Dr. Scott-
You know what I really like that my dentist does? Before making a move, he explains exactly what he's going to do, shows me the tool he's using and it's purpose, and then tells me how I should expect to feel as he's doing it. Totally makes me feel better. Then while he's working, he either turns on a tv and lets me pick a channel to distract me or chitchats about some random topic.
Thanks,
Lily
Lily, that’s awesome! I’ll bet you have referred MORE THAN ONE friend, colleague or friend to him….!!!
Dr Scott….This is amazing. You are sooo onto the key of what dentists need to understand about people and how their minds work! PLEASE be sure to target dentists who work with children! As you know this is where the fear begins and takes root! I am not only speaking as a parenting coach and child advocate, I am speaking from personal experience. With all of my education and years working and studying the power of the mind, when I hear the word "dentist", my mind., for a split second, will momentarily flash to the black cone being put over my face and smelling so bad that I vomited when I was 5 yrs old! From that point on it was a such a battle to get me to the dentist….oh the stories I could share!!!!! What you are doing is so needed, I applaud you!
Blessings~denny
I used to get very nervous before going to the dentist and then I started seeing Dr. Peterson!! I have never had such a wonderful dentist until him! I am no longer nervous and actually look forward to seeing him and his staff!!
I have had serveral proceedures requiring anesthesia and Dr. Peterson gives his shots so well that half of the time I hardly feel them (and this includes shots to the roof of my mouth)!!
If I could tell the whole world how to avoid being scared to death to go to the dentist, I would simply say "Go see Dr. Peterson!!!" even my kids like to see him!!!
Great post! I've finally found a dentist that seems to have this figured out, but have seen many over the years who clearly had no clue. This is great information for all dentists!
Dr Scott – This is so true. So many Dr's forget to remember how the patient sitting in that chair feels. If you can let them know you care and that their comfort level will change. The fear of giving up control and sitting in a chair at the mercy of someone elses hands alone… is scary.
*Your blog is great!* To hear from a Dr's side